Wow, What Are the Chances?

(Tester prepares for the big rematch by reviewing
found footage of the Moscow Mauling of ’92.)

After reading the post regarding the gig at the Australian embassy, old pal Tyler Mallory of Austin, Texas, (who happens to be married to Elli Shoemaker’s best friend Christine Furbish Mallory) sent this email:

Tyler: I was just reading about your Aussie gig and recognized a name you had mentioned, Steven Tester. I went to jr high with a guy of that name. Any relation you think? Just curious. I cant wait to get over there and fuck you guys up!

Taylor: i know he lived in oregon for awhile... more info please.

Tyler: I know he was a military brat and lived in germany for a while. He is the one person who has ever punched me in the face. I’ll elaborate more on that later.

[I had been at the pub having beers with Steven Tester not 20 minutes prior to receiving this email. He plays bass to my drums in Bombazine Black. We met in Paris because we both responded to the same Craigslist posting looking for people to play in a Mogwai/Slint-inspired band headed by an Australian couple. I called Steven. Indeed, he went to junior high school in Moscow, Idaho with Tyler Mallory and punched him in the face in front of the sheriff’s house because some kids were telling Steven that Tyler had said some stuff about him and vice versa.]

Steven: I was a pacifist. I’m not sure how it happened.

I find this truly bizarre. I remember his braces and bleached bangs, he was a skater or a freestyle biker, something like that. We became friends the year after he kicked my ass, then he moved away.

Tyler and Christie are coming to Paris in March. I can just see it now...

I da ’Ho?! No, YOU da ’Ho!
Tester/Mallory II
March 22, 2008 : Paris, France
Under the Eiffel Tower, BITCH!

I mean, really. Wow. What are the chances?

No comments:

Post a Comment